choosing the outcome

im re-doing my budget today. it just really sucks to never feel like you have a firm grasp on your finances.

That is one area I am extremely weak in. and living in this city confuses me about how to pad my savings. if something were to happen tomorrow, id live in a hole.

i guess that drives me to think on my toes and make something happen - like, not get another job or ask my employer for a raise, but to do something permanent - like put something into the world that generates independent wealth. that drives me, as does the vision that teeters from day to day. my vision is a lil blurry today.

just like i knew i wouldnt be fat for the rest of my life....i know i wont be blind and i know i wont be broke for the rest of my life, either.

i am choosing NOT to be.

beauty beyond limits

from my poetry blog... "Beauty Beyond Limits" a glance above into the trees and the sky on a clear day, the colors bring beauty and bright a dark night with stars glowing peppered throughout and the corners and caverns of beauty blacked out a sea swell of thunder and lightning strength sprays bears a beautiful power and calm in the waves for the very chance one could soak it all in this beauty abounds and unfolds deep within reflect on this treasure of beauty and measure the worth of this world we're blessed to live in

when you know you have passion

I'm feeling intense....fired up. The harder and smarter I work the better the quality of results I am seeing and feeling. I went through some of my transformation features and am still amazed at how applicable my feelings are today. Who knew that IIIII (ME who has a hard time finishing most things I start) would stick with fitness and continue to aim to become the BEST me I can be....before this lifetime goes dark. http://www.muscleandstrength.com/articles/shani-mojica-body-transformation.html

right where you are and always have been and will forever be

this, my darkened path i stroll looking down into the brush, with its edges that feather dust my ankles searching with strain until i flicker a glance at a glimmering edge of the path and know it's really there i cant be concerned with what's ahead it only scares the shit out of me it's like i may negate for myself, a place to step if i dont look down and my feet and soul may fall deep into the river some river i dont know any river a lake an ocean i dont know an abyss or an abysmal fate that will come as quickly as my panic to correct my unfortunate misstep but if i mis-stepped, i'd live with this misstep my sickness and pleas to reverse it would be in vain i'd plunge into something that doesnt smell look taste feel like anything ive ever smelled, seen, tasted and touched before it scares the shit out of me im head rushed into thinking about all the "what-ifs" rising and falling in me, my guts raining like glitter into cob web...

Healthy with Shani

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