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They always did say life would be better in your 30s

What I have noticed as my mind evolves with age, is that I trip less over things that tangled me up so many times before.  You start to learn when, where and how snags will happen and start to really learn how to shuck and jive to make it out with both feet on the ground.

I'm much less oriented with my past accomplishments and who I used to be.

My level of empathy for others has increased but I can empathize without losing myself.

There are things that I desire from my life and I finally understand how consistent forward steps draw those things closer to me.

My vision has been....good....then not good.....then good again.  By May of 2013 I was successfully free of cataracts.  What I didn't acknowledge was how sensitive my body still was to inflammation which ended up quickly bringing on posterior capsule opacification - which is simply a hazing of a membrane that rests behind the lens implant.  The effects are blurred vision, similar to having a cataract which is why a capsule is often referred to as a "second cataract."

Removal is simple, fast, and performed using a laser.

I've had two capsules removed from the right eye.  Both eyes cannot be done at the same time, so I wait to have a thick capsule removed from the left eye.  But, the consistent capsules in the right eye have kept me waiting....

The procedure is easy, but the existing and lurking inflammation complicates even the most simple procedures.  The wait time in between procedures can be weeks.  It used to make me want to rip my hair out and punch walls and just cry until my face popped but as I sit here, I may have another one AGAIN in my right eye.  And as frustrating as seeing the world in a haze, is....it is....what it is.

And it could be worse.  I know that now.

I no longer define myself by what I have or have not been through and experienced in life.  I realize how we all face enormous struggles and are thereby shaped into the people we ultimately become.  I realize that we have a choice to become strong.  I no longer feel the need to stand on a podium and shout all of my past hurts and pain to the world.

What matters most to me is drawing closer to God, strengthening my relationships in life, and taking great care of the able body and mind that I have been chosen to care for.

My soul is fueled by my creative talents....I am always doing something related to one of my creative passions, whether that something be writing, producing and composing music or making art through illustration or painting.  I used to be drowning so deep in depression that I neglected nurturing my natural talents.

I used to be a whirlwind of puzzle pieces....like an image that was almost complete being knocked from a table and splattering with chunks bouncing all over a hard floor...with some of the delicate pieces being lost to a random vent somewhere.  Or maybe eaten by a dog....

wtf

Today, I just feel different.  I view my world differently.  I don't have all I want but I have all I need.

I guess this is why they say life is better in your 30s.

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