last night i worked back. i definitely lost a significant amount of strength in my back and was having a hard time with 35lb single arm dumbbell rows for FIVE reps when i used to WARM UP with 35's.
i cant let it get me frustrated. what else can i expect with having taken so much time away from lifting heavy? i let everyone else's input and opinions rule my training after I rebounded badly after my first show. i was just desperate to lose the weight and ended up with a very negative relationship with food. that desperation made me willing to try ANYTHING to "get fit quick" - that vicious cycle (even though patience is what transformed my body in the first place).
i LOVE lifting heavy. it's empowering. Im so little, too - only 5'2. But right now Ive been reminding myself that thankfully I am not starting as a newbie like I did back in March of 2009. I know a hell of a lot more now than I did back then and cannot wait to learn even more as the years go by. The gym is just part of my life - it's my anti aging strategy in this city where cortisol runs rampant. Where wrinkles come fifteen years sooner and your internal system take a silent beating and then you dont know something severe is wrong until maybe it's too late. Anyway. Perhaps my extreme thirst for knowledge about this lifestyle is what led me to change my habits and training so often during the time I was feeling so low. I was open to trying so many different styles because I know Ill learn at least something to take away. I do that with everything in life. I welcome adversity for the knowledge that follows. There's always something to learn from everything and everyone. If you're open to learning, the knowledge obtained will be significant.
But I realize the more I find myself drawn back to the weights, how much i truly love that connection. And it's OK that Im not what I used to be - in fact, Im better. Always better is how I see things. I may have a lot more fat, but I have more muscle memory and while the muscles shrank and lost strength, Ive been surprised at how quickly things have bounced back. I said before that I threw away those stupid spreadsheets that tracked my macros and my training and have been listening to my body more, but aiming for strength and shape.
Tonight I will do Shoulders and Triceps. Then stairs HIIT. OOOOH then sauna for ten minutes - just for the sake of meditating and relaxing. This city made me CRAZY for a bit.....it was truly aging me. I couldnt get rid of the bags under my eyes and the NEGATIVE outlook. OMG I was NEGATIVE!! Miss Sunshine - ME - nothing could make me happy. With being back in action I feel like Im rediscovering my purpose and I feel good.
Even if 35 for 5 is tough. Even if heavy assistedn pullups are hard. Tired....exhausted....less strong. I want to build and to sculpt my body - this beautiful work of art.
If I dont stop, Ill get there.
i cant let it get me frustrated. what else can i expect with having taken so much time away from lifting heavy? i let everyone else's input and opinions rule my training after I rebounded badly after my first show. i was just desperate to lose the weight and ended up with a very negative relationship with food. that desperation made me willing to try ANYTHING to "get fit quick" - that vicious cycle (even though patience is what transformed my body in the first place).
i LOVE lifting heavy. it's empowering. Im so little, too - only 5'2. But right now Ive been reminding myself that thankfully I am not starting as a newbie like I did back in March of 2009. I know a hell of a lot more now than I did back then and cannot wait to learn even more as the years go by. The gym is just part of my life - it's my anti aging strategy in this city where cortisol runs rampant. Where wrinkles come fifteen years sooner and your internal system take a silent beating and then you dont know something severe is wrong until maybe it's too late. Anyway. Perhaps my extreme thirst for knowledge about this lifestyle is what led me to change my habits and training so often during the time I was feeling so low. I was open to trying so many different styles because I know Ill learn at least something to take away. I do that with everything in life. I welcome adversity for the knowledge that follows. There's always something to learn from everything and everyone. If you're open to learning, the knowledge obtained will be significant.
But I realize the more I find myself drawn back to the weights, how much i truly love that connection. And it's OK that Im not what I used to be - in fact, Im better. Always better is how I see things. I may have a lot more fat, but I have more muscle memory and while the muscles shrank and lost strength, Ive been surprised at how quickly things have bounced back. I said before that I threw away those stupid spreadsheets that tracked my macros and my training and have been listening to my body more, but aiming for strength and shape.
Tonight I will do Shoulders and Triceps. Then stairs HIIT. OOOOH then sauna for ten minutes - just for the sake of meditating and relaxing. This city made me CRAZY for a bit.....it was truly aging me. I couldnt get rid of the bags under my eyes and the NEGATIVE outlook. OMG I was NEGATIVE!! Miss Sunshine - ME - nothing could make me happy. With being back in action I feel like Im rediscovering my purpose and I feel good.
Even if 35 for 5 is tough. Even if heavy assistedn pullups are hard. Tired....exhausted....less strong. I want to build and to sculpt my body - this beautiful work of art.
If I dont stop, Ill get there.