I did a 40 hour fast recently. It's easy for me not to eat when I'm feeling down. I've never really been an emotional eater - unless the emotion is happy.
I did the fast to determine my food allergies...and I think my inflammatory culprit is eggs. I've been wandering around in a fog for the past week...literally and figuratively.
And my heart feels really broken over the end of a relationship recently. We went through a lot in a short period but we became extremely close. And yes, I did fall but I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I wanted to be sure. Maybe I was blinded by emotion.
But we were broken toward the end so I freaked out, jumped ship and said goodbye. Despite all I thought we had, he let me walk away so easily. He instantly became a cordial stranger.
Of course I expected him to chase me. After all we had....my ego expected him to chase me.
But he didn't. And it reaffirmed my choice. And that makes me sad...as if I were the only one who desired to hang on to begin with.
I know I'm going through a lot with my health. And I get moody and prednisone didn't help and I know I'm impatient and scatterbrained and dramatic and frantic and sensitive and jealous. But I also know I'm loyal and thoughtful and loving and nurturing and fun and energetic and passionate and driven. And I'm also a damn good cook!
A coworker said to me "Shani, you shouldn't be with someone again until you can see who you're with."
That means two things to me. My focus above all else is to have clear vision and healthy eyes. If he can't be there for me through my tough times, he doesn't deserve me through the good.
But right now I am feeling low. I'm just waiting for the sun to shine again. No, really, it's been rainy and cloudy all week.
I did the fast to determine my food allergies...and I think my inflammatory culprit is eggs. I've been wandering around in a fog for the past week...literally and figuratively.
And my heart feels really broken over the end of a relationship recently. We went through a lot in a short period but we became extremely close. And yes, I did fall but I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I wanted to be sure. Maybe I was blinded by emotion.
But we were broken toward the end so I freaked out, jumped ship and said goodbye. Despite all I thought we had, he let me walk away so easily. He instantly became a cordial stranger.
Of course I expected him to chase me. After all we had....my ego expected him to chase me.
But he didn't. And it reaffirmed my choice. And that makes me sad...as if I were the only one who desired to hang on to begin with.
I know I'm going through a lot with my health. And I get moody and prednisone didn't help and I know I'm impatient and scatterbrained and dramatic and frantic and sensitive and jealous. But I also know I'm loyal and thoughtful and loving and nurturing and fun and energetic and passionate and driven. And I'm also a damn good cook!
A coworker said to me "Shani, you shouldn't be with someone again until you can see who you're with."
That means two things to me. My focus above all else is to have clear vision and healthy eyes. If he can't be there for me through my tough times, he doesn't deserve me through the good.
But right now I am feeling low. I'm just waiting for the sun to shine again. No, really, it's been rainy and cloudy all week.