as hard as I worked last week was as hard as I didn't work this weekend.
but i freaked out this morning. no lie - my mood flipped and i just threw my hands up as i was prepping my meals and i cried my eyes out.
i just felt overwhelmed about so much - there really are no problems, there is just this moment, right? what happens when this moment is consumed prepping for the next. what happens when you spend so much time prepping and planning that youre unable to just BE? that thought hit me like bricks as I was monitoring the ticking clock and trying to cut up 10 servings of chicken and make my breakfast at the same time....
im just being a big baby. a big whiny baby.
and i didnt work out on friday or saturday. im SO tired. im PMSing big time. im talking myself into being in a better mood today.
on the BRIGHT side, i have a new meal plan that is making me feel more organized about my calorie intake and macros. gdamn i over think things to the point of mental exhaustion...to the point of mental burnout and breakdown (obviously). so i needed to just grab someone else's plan and follow it. just follow the plan.
dont reinvent the plan.
dont try to control the plan.
dont let the plan control me.
i printed it from bodybuilding.com: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/four-weeks-to-fit-again.html
i was SO sick of retweeking and tweeking plans.
i like my new plan because it really is simple and all the macros have been calculated already. i've LONG done away with the myriad of spreadsheets i cluttered my fridge door with that outlined my exact meal plans and macros and high carb days/low carb days/mid carb days etc etc etc omg
like a mad scientist. or maybe im just mad. whos brain works like this? im sure many people's do. everyone wants to claim craziness or quirkiness or mild insanity. it's, like, the "cool" thing to do.
anyway. im done with my mad rambling for now.
i leave you with my fave meal on the plan....actually, i think it's on the plan. maybe it's there without the rice cakes? i didnt bother looking at the plan....nor do i give a shit. i just ate it and really enjoyed it:
it's still healthy:
2 plain rice cakes
1 container greek yogurt
1 scoop of your fave flavor Whey protein powder
1 tbsp natural peanut butter
In a bowl or mug, mix whey protein into greek yogurt until smooth.
In a separate mug, microwave PB for 30 sec. Remove from microwave and mix into protein/yogurt mix until creamy.
Smooth over rice cakes and proceed to orgasm in your mouth.
