Moving SUCKS!
Combine moving with Rheumatic Disease and moving is agonizingly painful. Ugh I really don't remember this process hurting this badly.
I'm sick of going at this alone....and sick of this sickness. "Sick and tired of being sick and tired."
Who still says that? Well, stop it - it sounds stupid and its cleverness/originality is long gone (it's usually said by network marketers who convey the feeling of "firing your boss"). I intend not to offend anyone...I've only heard those same cliche phrases my entire life.
I'm so excited to be moving to Brooklyn.....(*#&$(*&#$^^ fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally!!! I tried so hard to make Staten Island my home but it nearly broke me in more ways than one. When the time came that I gathered enough sanity to move from my cute little side apartment attached to disco-tequer's after party super-techno lair, I decided that Rob and I were in a place to live together.
Psh.
Note to self: If he's never lived on his own, he's NOT ready to cohabitate with you.
And I KNEW that going into it...but I let convenience rule and so today, here I am amongst half packed boxes with thoughts of Brooklyn - alone. A few weeks ago, I was massively gung-ho about moving back to Florida and notified all family of my plans to be there, only because I was SO broken. But something inside of me keeps me in New York and with all I've fought through to get to where I am today, I am NOT ready to toss it all up in the air again and run back home. As long as I feel that going to Florida would be reactive to adversity in NY, then I'm not ready to go back. That's not the kind of person I am and unfortunately I tend to let myself suffer silently before I'll reach out to others for help. It's actually a huge issue I have, and really want to aim to resolve that about myself very soon. I'm painfully independent but that isn't necessarily gratifying in many situations.
My knees hurt so bad right now and my legs feel numb. Bending down over boxes and performing simple moves make me ache so badly. I've given up trying to understand why I have this disease and instead look to keep my thoughts in alignment with having a healthy and disease-free body. Rob was always trying to rescue me and it made me feel even more ailed. He meant so well for me and only wanted to take care of me.
I'm happy, though my expression conveys sadness - but I swear I'm happy so please do not ask me why I cannot stop crying and why I look so depressed. This impending move means so much and I just anticipate it being OVER. I'm also anticipating saving 3.5 hours daily since my commute is now only 30 total minutes daily!!! WOW Who does FOUR HOURS a day - and FIVE to SIX hours on Sundays????????
I do (did).
I'm dedicated (insane).
Yes, I am kind of the weirdest person I know...then again I haven't given myself much of a chance to get to know many others. Perhaps that is because I shut so many out living so far away. On a deserted island known as Staten. Sometimes I walk around feeling like my body is in the room but my mind isn't....and forget about my heart. I have no idea where I left that. But, my mind stays out there lookin' for it. I have a feeling I'll find it in Brooklyn.
I stopped searching this island long ago. It's time to move on.
Combine moving with Rheumatic Disease and moving is agonizingly painful. Ugh I really don't remember this process hurting this badly.
I'm sick of going at this alone....and sick of this sickness. "Sick and tired of being sick and tired."
Who still says that? Well, stop it - it sounds stupid and its cleverness/originality is long gone (it's usually said by network marketers who convey the feeling of "firing your boss"). I intend not to offend anyone...I've only heard those same cliche phrases my entire life.
I'm so excited to be moving to Brooklyn.....(*#&$(*&#$^^ fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally!!! I tried so hard to make Staten Island my home but it nearly broke me in more ways than one. When the time came that I gathered enough sanity to move from my cute little side apartment attached to disco-tequer's after party super-techno lair, I decided that Rob and I were in a place to live together.
Psh.
Note to self: If he's never lived on his own, he's NOT ready to cohabitate with you.
And I KNEW that going into it...but I let convenience rule and so today, here I am amongst half packed boxes with thoughts of Brooklyn - alone. A few weeks ago, I was massively gung-ho about moving back to Florida and notified all family of my plans to be there, only because I was SO broken. But something inside of me keeps me in New York and with all I've fought through to get to where I am today, I am NOT ready to toss it all up in the air again and run back home. As long as I feel that going to Florida would be reactive to adversity in NY, then I'm not ready to go back. That's not the kind of person I am and unfortunately I tend to let myself suffer silently before I'll reach out to others for help. It's actually a huge issue I have, and really want to aim to resolve that about myself very soon. I'm painfully independent but that isn't necessarily gratifying in many situations.
My knees hurt so bad right now and my legs feel numb. Bending down over boxes and performing simple moves make me ache so badly. I've given up trying to understand why I have this disease and instead look to keep my thoughts in alignment with having a healthy and disease-free body. Rob was always trying to rescue me and it made me feel even more ailed. He meant so well for me and only wanted to take care of me.
I'm happy, though my expression conveys sadness - but I swear I'm happy so please do not ask me why I cannot stop crying and why I look so depressed. This impending move means so much and I just anticipate it being OVER. I'm also anticipating saving 3.5 hours daily since my commute is now only 30 total minutes daily!!! WOW Who does FOUR HOURS a day - and FIVE to SIX hours on Sundays????????
I do (did).
I'm dedicated (insane).
Yes, I am kind of the weirdest person I know...then again I haven't given myself much of a chance to get to know many others. Perhaps that is because I shut so many out living so far away. On a deserted island known as Staten. Sometimes I walk around feeling like my body is in the room but my mind isn't....and forget about my heart. I have no idea where I left that. But, my mind stays out there lookin' for it. I have a feeling I'll find it in Brooklyn.
I stopped searching this island long ago. It's time to move on.